Most psychologists seem to believe that shyness includes many unrelated
conditions. From the 1.6 billion introverts at one end of the spectrum (1/4 of the
world's population) to the extremes of autism at the other, there are a lot of shy
labels and a lot of people who believe in them. My own belief is that most of the
diagnosed conditions have a common genetic base. Like blind men examining
different parts of an elephant, I think different researchers are looking at different
parts of the same thing. But you don't have to accept my skepticism. There are
contrary and interesting views well expressed on these sites - not to mention
something new and exciting (new to those of us born long before the PC) - the
phenomenon of shy people communicating with one another in public forums.
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AVOIDANT PERSONALITY DISORDER (APD) – www.avoidantpersonality.com
According to the American Psychiatric Association, APD involves a 'pervasive
pattern of social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy and hypersensitivity to negative
evaluation'. This might sound like just another version of social phobia, but those
with APD are said to 'excessively monitor the reactions of people with whom they
are inter-acting' (which social phobics don't do). Not only is this an interesting site,
but a very understanding one too – lurking is encouraged - I recommend you check
it out.
HSP/HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON – www.hsperson.com
This is the site of psychologist Elaine Aron, which she has devoted to 'highly
sensitive people', or HSPs. You might ask whether such a site belongs in a list of
sites related to shyness – 30% of HSPs are extroverts - but most shy people are
extra sensitive, and I don't just mean emotionally. They usually have more acute
senses – hearing, touch, etc. Dr Aron will show you, and start you thinking about,
the role of sensitivity in evolution, not just in humans but in all the animal world. For
example, did you know that sunfish show a similar shyness vs boldness spectrum to
ours? That suggests that the divide, and the connection, between shy and social
behavior may be as ancient as life itself.
INTROVERT INSIGHTS – www.introvertinsights.com
This is the professional site of two career counselors, Peter Vogt and Pamela Braun,
whose specialty is introverts. The site is simple, accessible, and impressive. There
is something about what they have to say and their presence on the net that
inspires extra hope in me for the future of shy people.
LOVE-SHYNESS.COM – www.love-shy.com
Do you know what love-shyness is? If you avoid the opposite sex because you
experience intense anxiety at the prospect of meeting them, then you are probably
love-shy, according to psychologist Brian Gilmartin. This is shyness of a very
profound kind. The consequences in the social arena go far beyond difficulty with
the opposite sex. Yet Dr Gilmartin wasn't able to get it accepted as a diagnosis by
the psychological establishment. The doctor's books are hard to find (I couldn't get
even a used copy through Amazon), but you can get important excerpts here. If
you've had experience of this kind, you can't afford to miss this site.
SHY PASSIONS – www.shypassions.com
This is a website for shy people who would like to meet shy members of the
opposite sex. During our hunter-gathering lives tens of thousands of years ago,
when we lived in sparsely populated wildernesses, surrounded by silent forests,
meadows, lakes and mountains, with no inquisitive human eyes looking on, I
suspect shy people connected more easily with each other. Now, trapped in this
noisy, frantic, aggressive, overpopulated world, we get psyched out. So I think this
is a good idea and I hope it's working out. Also – they say it's free.
SHY UNITED – www.shyunited.com
If you consider yourself shy for any reason, you will feel welcome here. This is a big
site, with a lot of visitors and a lot going on, too much for me to comment in detail.
Highly recommended.
SMG (Selective Mutism Group) – www.selectivemutism.org
When you were a child, could you talk freely at home, but not at school? I'm not
talking about stage fright. This is something deeper. I experienced at least a
hundred incidents of it during the first few years of school - In a couple of cases, I
got hit because teachers thought I was deliberately refusing to answer questions.
I'm glad to see it receiving proper attention now. Most experts on SMG don't see it
as related to other shyness conditions. You'll find my views on that in The
Birdcatcher.
SOCIAL PHOBIA WORLD – www.socialphobiaworld.net
In a nutshell, social phobia is an overwhelming shyness in social situations.
Apparently there is some debate about its definition, for estimates of its prevalence
in the population range between 13% and 30%. Either way, that's a lot of people,
making this a major site that deserves attention.
WIKIPEDIA – www.wikepedia.org
If you've been searching shyness terms, you already know that Wikepedia are front
and centre with balanced informative entries on everything you've thought of so
far. I mention it because I have a high regard for Wikipedia. I'm knowledgeable in
most sciences, much of history and literature, and I can tell you that, whenever I
know enough about a subject to judge, I'm impressed with what has been done on
Wikipedia.
WRONG PLANET – www.wrongplanet.net
Last but not least is Wrong Planet (population as of Nov 1/09 - 30,602), inhabited by
people who feel that they have landed on the 'wrong planet'. This is the internet
home of people who have either been diagnosed with some form of autism
(including 'high-functioning' forms like Aspergers Syndrome, or AS), or they just
think that an autistic diagnosis fits them. Are you shy but you think autism has
nothing to do with you? Well, follow some of the blogs here for a bit and you'll soon
start to doubt yourself. High-functioning autistics are more common than the
severely autistic children that the media focus on. Many of them are angered by the
constant presentation of autism as a disease when its source is mostly genetic.
Autism may well be just another perfectly natural component of what is human. You
don't have to be diagnosed with anything to feel welcome here either, but if you're
looking for intelligent, interesting discussion about autism or shyness generally,
you'll find plenty of that.
SHY LINKS
Alan Conrad